An introvert speaking on embracing change and transition
A few weeks back, I was invited to speak about change and transition at a Women of Pōneke event (the November event is coming up soon, keep an eye out for it!)
Two immediate and conflicting reactions arose. Part of me was saying:
“Great! This is a way to help others with a bit of change-related advice and at the same time get to know other people and swap notes.”
The other part of me said:
“Nope. 150 people looking at you and listening to you at once is about as comfortable as chewing tinfoil.”
Ultimately, I got over myself and said yes. And I’m SO glad I did. I met some wonderful fellow presenters: Philly Powell, Kirsty Brown, Tennessee Mansford, and Sarah Meikle. I admire them for their interesting perspectives and their courage to share their tips and extend the conversation to others who might benefit.
But it’s been several weeks, why has it taken me so long to share my tip and perspective?
Initially, I said to myself, “If you wait a sec, your new website will be ready. That would be opportune timing”. Then my website was ready, and I still didn’t post. Theoretically, it was the perfect motivation I needed but I still didn’t do it. Instead, my brain gave me several excellent (to me) reasons to procrastinate.
What was my real ‘why’?
Deep down I’m a frustrated introvert, sharing my thoughts and passions publicly feels super vulnerable. But it’s time to get over it because I have things I want to say and share. I might as well start with three things I’ve learned about putting myself out there as I transition my career into a more public space:
Getting over myself
I LOVE chatting with people about change, especially career-related changes. I have a lot of related research and stories from people that are worthwhile sharing. It’s just the introvert in me draws energy from one-to-a-few, not one-to-many.
As I’ve evolved my career over the past few years, I’ve been working on ways to show up and share as an introvert. One of the most helpful tips from a friend I’ve ever been given on this is this mantra:
“It’s not about me, it’s about my message”
I play this over and over in my head whenever I feel I’ve got something to say but am shying away from saying it. It also helps me keep my ego in check (people don’t think about us as much as we think they do).
A crew in my corner
Another approach was surrounding myself with a team of people who believed in me and had my back when I was wavering. They gave me that little nudge of support when I needed it most. I want to thank Amanda Millar Heather Peacocke, Louise Aitken, Jodi Willocks, Kate Lee, Jacky Laverty, Jackie Lloyd, Livia Esterhazy, Jenny Brown, Digby Scott and Antonia Milkop for the opportunity, speaking tips, audience support and/or being my accountability buddies.
Invite the audience in
My final tip is to lean into facilitative activities that help take the spotlight off you and draw connections with your audience's experiences and knowledge – that’s where the gold is anyway.
If you want to try the activity I ran at Women of Pōneke, check it out here
Photo credit Melanie Parkin Widelens Photography
